Rand Paul Skips the Senate Line, Ships Fauci Contempt to DOJ
Well, folks, Rand Paul finally found a way around those pesky Senate Democrats, and honestly, it's the most creative thing to come out of Congress since...
Trump-Endorsed Rep Loses Primary in Tennessee Shocker
Turns out having a presidential endorsement is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine these days. Rep. Andy Ogles of Tennessee just got booted out...
AOC Tries to Gatekeep Democracy, Gets Wrecked by AIPAC
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez apparently decided she's the official bouncer of the Democratic Party this week, and spoiler alert, it did not go well for her. As...
Florida Armadillos Out Here Giving People Leprosy Like It's 1348
Well folks, if you needed another reason to avoid touching random wildlife in Florida, here it is. The Sunshine State is dealing with a surge in leprosy...
Hacker Stole 633K AZ Voter Files, Confessed, and Nobody Cared
Remember when everyone kept telling you that 2020 was the Fort Knox of elections? Well, declassified FBI documents released Thursday morning would like a...
Iran's Economy So Bad People Are Eating Groceries In Store
Well, things are going absolutely swimmingly over in Iran, where the economy has deteriorated to the point that citizens are literally sneaking cheese and...
Mark Ruffalo Goes Full Hulk Mode on Trump at Golden Globes
You know what they say: you can take the Hulk out of the Avengers, but you cannot take the rage out of Mark Ruffalo. The 58 year old actor showed up to the...
Speaker Johnson Pulls Vet Bill Again Because Math Is Hard
House Republicans are once again proving that having a majority means absolutely nothing if you can't get your own team to show up for the game. Speaker...
Popeyes worker fired for farting on the raw chicken
I can't believe I just wrote that headline about a man farting in the Popeyes chicken.
Black guy going around beating white women
Matt van Swol reported: "OH MY GOSH!!!THERE IS CURRENTLY A BLACK MAN IN CHARLOTTE NC WHO IS BRUTALLY BEATING WHITE WOMEN ON THE STREETS AT RANDOM!!!THIS IS...
Fauci's Lawyer Tells Aaron Rodgers to Stick to Football
Anthony Fauci's attorney David Schertler is having what professionals call a "catastrophically bad week," and honestly, watching him flail around is more...
Trump Takes Another Swing at Birthright Citizenship Rules
Donald Trump put pen to paper on Thursday, signing a pair of executive orders that go after birthright citizenship categories and the booming business of so...
Clay Travis Pitches All-Trans WNBA Squad Called The Nashville Balls
Radio personality Clay Travis has decided to take the WNBA's inclusivity rhetoric and crank it up to eleven, proposing an entire franchise composed...
Trump Spills the Beans to Donors About His 2028 Pick
The 45th and 47th President of the United States loves nothing more than watching heads explode on both sides of the aisle whenever he jokes about running...
WaPo Publishes Fantasy About Trump vs Hegseth, Gets Roasted
The Washington Post apparently decided that journalism was too boring and pivoted to creative fiction this week. The paper ran a juicy tale about Trump...
McConnell Finally Leaves Rehab, Plans to Work From Couch
Senator Mitch McConnell, the 84 year old Kentucky Republican who has been MIA from public life for roughly two months, has officially been sprung from his...
Man Wins Election Nobody Else Entered, Calls It Momentum
Former FBI special agent Mike Rogers just clinched the Republican nomination for U.S. Senate in Michigan, and honestly, it was the least dramatic victory...
Trump Threatens Jail for Leakers Who Said We're Low on Missiles
Nothing says "everything is totally fine" quite like the President of the United States threatening to hunt people down and throw them in prison for talking...
Democrats Now Eating Each Other Alive and It's Glorious
Well folks, the Democratic Party family reunion has officially turned into a cage match, and nobody brought enough folding chairs for everyone. As USA...
Utah Senator Gets Roasted for Wanting to Import Workers
Senator John Curtis of Utah just found out the hard way that social media is not your friend when you propose bringing in foreign laborers while Americans...
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