President Donald Trump has officially gone full landlord on Iran, announcing that he will use Iranian money currently held by the United States to cover any and all damage Tehran causes to commercial shipping. That's right, Iran is getting billed with its own credit card. As Conservative Brief reported, Trump posted the announcement on Truth Social like a man leaving a very aggressive note on his neighbor's door.
"These damages may be very substantial but, nevertheless, this is the fair and equitable thing to do," Trump wrote Thursday evening. Nothing says "fair and equitable" quite like raiding someone's piggy bank because they keep shooting missiles at cargo ships. Iran has been firing at commercial tankers passing through the Strait of Hormuz, which is basically the world's most stressful commute.
But the financial penalties are just the appetizer. Earlier in the week, Trump announced a truly wild escalation policy: for every single shot Iran takes at a vessel in the strait, whether by missile, rocket, drone, or "any other device or weapon," the U.S. will obliterate one bridge or power plant, including ones near or inside Tehran. One for one. It's like a very terrifying loyalty punch card program.
Meanwhile, U.S. Central Command has been busy all week doing exactly what you'd expect. CENTCOM announced it targeted Iranian military command centers, drone storage facilities, communication networks, coastal surveillance sites, and maritime capabilities. The international waterway remains open for business, with commercial vessels navigating the strait under U.S. military escort, which is the nautical equivalent of walking someone to their car in a sketchy parking lot.
Trump told Axios on Thursday that he is actively weighing something even bigger. "I am considering a massive attack. Bigger than ever before. I am close to making a decision. We are all set for it," he said, adding that the proposed strikes would surpass those carried out during Operation Epic Fury. However, he emphasized that no final call has been made, and two U.S. officials confirmed that no new orders have gone out to the military. So for now, it's still in the "thinking about it really hard" phase.
The situation has already sent oil prices soaring past $100 per barrel, which is fantastic news for absolutely nobody filling up their gas tank. Trump acknowledged there is not much appetite domestically for another full scale conflict. He noted that Israel "would join in two minutes if I ask them to" but said American forces do not need assistance. He also warned that Israeli participation would invite Iranian retaliation against Israel, which is basically saying "you can come to the party, but someone's going to throw a drink at you."
As for diplomacy, Trump said the Iranians "want to negotiate" but are not yet ready to cut a deal. "They haven't received enough pain yet," he stated. Regional sources familiar with mediation efforts confirmed that Iranian leadership has rejected the latest proposal. Adding fuel to the literal fire, Iran backed Houthi rebels in Yemen have started targeting Saudi ships in the Red Sea, prompting Trump to declare that Iran will be held responsible for any Houthi attacks as well.
So to recap: Iran is getting charged for damages with its own money, losing infrastructure one building at a time, and potentially facing the largest U.S. strike yet. And they still will not pick up the phone. Bold strategy.
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