Anthony Fauci's attorney David Schertler is having what professionals call a "catastrophically bad week," and honestly, watching him flail around is more entertaining than anything on Netflix right now.
Let's recap the highlight reel, as USA Journal reported. First, Schertler got booted from a Senate hearing because he kept interrupting Chairman Rand Paul like a heckler at a comedy club who forgot he wasn't the headliner. Then his client, the man who once proclaimed himself the living embodiment of science, invoked the Fifth Amendment 111 times on national television. ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVEN TIMES. The committee then voted to hold Fauci in contempt. And to top it all off like a cherry on a disaster sundae, Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Aaron Rodgers went on The Pat McAfee Show and called Fauci "an absolute coward" for hiding behind a presidential pardon while refusing to answer questions.
"I am science," Rodgers mocked, "and you get up there and can't answer a question?" Millions of Americans nodded so hard they gave themselves whiplash.
So what was the devastating legal counter from Fauci's high-powered attorney? What brilliant rebuttal did Schertler craft to neutralize this critique? He told The Athletic that Rodgers "doesn't know what he's talking about" and "should stick to football." That's the whole thing. That's the entire comeback. The guy representing someone who told an entire nation to shut up and listen to The Science responded to legitimate criticism with the legal equivalent of "stay in your lane, bro."
Schertler also fired back at the 8 to 5 contempt vote, calling it "a crude political stunt" motivated by Paul's "personal vendetta." He insisted Fauci "committed no crime" and accused Paul of "weaponizing the Justice Department against an honorable public servant."
You know what Schertler did NOT do? Explain why a fully pardoned individual needs Fifth Amendment protection in the first place. Because here's the thing, and even Barack Obama's former Pentagon counsel acknowledged this on CNN, if Biden's pardon wiped away criminal jeopardy for the conduct being questioned, then there's no valid basis for invoking the Fifth. That's literally the foundation of the contempt resolution. Schertler just called it a stunt and pretended that argument doesn't exist.
Let's zoom out for a second and appreciate the comedic arc here. For four years, Fauci positioned himself as the ultimate authority on truth and science, labeling anyone who questioned him as an anti-science conspiracy theorist. Then he sat before Congress, protected by a pardon, and wouldn't answer a single question about his own conduct.
Meanwhile, the contempt referral now sits with the DOJ. Florida has an active investigative subpoena. Senate Republicans possess phone data. And Fauci's lawyer is spending his time firing off angry responses to sports journalists.
Somebody should probably tell Schertler to stick to lawyering. Or maybe not, because this version is way funnier.
Read more conservative news commentary at: USA Journal News
