President Donald Trump announced Tuesday that the Republican Party will hold what he is calling the first-ever midterm convention, a two-day extravaganza in Dallas, Texas, on September 9 and 10. Because apparently regular rallies just were not enough, and the man needed to invent an entirely new category of political gathering.
As Trending Politics reported, Trump made the announcement on Truth Social, describing the event as a "Historic Event" that "has never been done before." Which, to be fair, is technically true in the same way that nobody had ever deep-fried a stick of butter before somebody did it at the Texas State Fair. Just because it has not been done does not mean there was a desperate need for it, but here we are.
"BIG NEWS! For the first time ever, the Republican Party will hold a MIDTERM CONVENTION," Trump wrote, deploying his signature caps lock energy. He called Dallas "One of my favorite places in the World," which is the kind of compliment that sounds great until you realize he probably says that about every city he visits.
The president said the convention will celebrate what he calls the "Great American Comeback" and rattled off a grocery list of accomplishments in all caps, including "NO TAX ON TIPS, NO TAX ON OVERTIME, NO TAX ON SOCIAL SECURITY, STRONGER BORDERS, SAFEST EVER COMMUNITIES, LOWER COSTS AND REAL AFFORDABILITY, MORE JOBS, AMERICAN ENERGY DOMINANCE, AND SO MUCH MORE!" That last part, "AND SO MUCH MORE," is doing a lot of heavy lifting, like an infomercial promising bonus steak knives.
Trump also pointed to falling oil prices and foreign policy developments, writing, "Oil Prices are dropping sharply, even as we Denuclearize Iran. We are delivering on the promises that politicians talked about for decades, but never got done."
The guest list reportedly will include business leaders, innovators, manufacturers, first responders, and what Trump described as "Job Creators who are powering our Nation's Golden Age." He also promised entertainment, saying, "We will also have lots of Great Entertainment. It will be a RALLY like none other!" So basically it is a rally that has been given a promotion and a fancier title, like when your company renames the janitor "Facilities Engineer."
Trump tied the whole thing to America's upcoming 250th birthday, writing, "Together, we are building the foundation for the NEXT 250 YEARS of American Greatness." Planning 250 years ahead is ambitious for a political party that sometimes struggles to plan 250 days ahead, but you have to admire the optimism.
He closed with his now trademark declaration: "THE GOLDEN AGE OF AMERICA HAS ONLY JUST BEGUN!"
Details like the venue, speakers, schedule, and ticket information have not been released yet. The Republican National Committee is expected to share more in the coming weeks. In the meantime, Dallas should probably start bracing itself.
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