Local Hero rushed to store on fire, saved a few magazines
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This guy was about to go shopping at his favorite store that sells magazines you can't take to school unless you're a far left liberal who wants to indoctrinate students. Just so happened the store was on fire, so he rushed in like the true hero he is and saved a few of the magazines. I know, I know, you might be thinking - what the heck is a magazine, and it's this thing with pages and words. We used to read them back in the day.